Why Social Network Sap?

Out of all of my reasons to start blogging, this was by far my biggest motivation to get it started.  The social networking phenomenon known as Facebook, Twitter and Myspace can be used for a lot of things.  Whether you’re using it to catch up with old friends, creep on extremely hot and unobtainable chicks (you’re better off, dude) or using it as a tool to help you get through your mundane job or life, Social Networking can become your best friend.  However, Facebook, Twitter and Myspace should NOT be used as a tool to express unnecessary and “uncomfortable-for-everybody-else” rants about your personal life.  I look at it like this: if you were standing at center court in an arena that was packed seat-to-seat with 2 million people and a hanging microphone in front of you, would you have the courage to say, “I’m one step away from an emotional breakdown”?.  Of course not. Would you tell your dude friends at the bar how much you can’t wait to get home and spoon with your girlfriend because of how much you love her?  Probably not.  Social Networking should be treated the same way.  If you can’t say it publicly, don’t hide behind the computer, homeboy.

I decided years ago that I was going to do my civic duty and start collecting sappy Facebook, Twitter and Myspace posts from my friends, change their names and one day post them on a blog to expose the idiocy.  That day has finally come.  Every week I am going to post three Social Network Sap (SNS) posts and break down why they’re embarrassing to the human race.  You wanted the attention, Emo Eric? You got it.  Please note that I can’t do this alone; I have less than 300 friends on Facebook, and almost 95% are genuinely happy people.  I’m counting on YOU to help me in collecting the Internet sap that I’m not exposed to (there’s a ton of it).  If you have some good SNS for me, send it to socialnetworksap@gmail.com.  Please delete their names, for I will do them a favor and not post it (even though they’ve made that choice already to expose themselves).  But in all seriousness, if you’re really in a dark place and you need help, CALL somebody.  Depression is serious and I’m very serious about it, and this is in no way mocking those in emotional distress.  This also isn’t designed to bring down people’s excitement and happiness in the world.  I’m just your average guy that likes sap only on my pancakes, and I never eat pancakes.  Hopefully someday blogs like this can eliminate the sap and we can live in a better place.  You can thank me later.